Dating after divorce with grown children
The most interesting thing about the essay was the resulting shitstorm of controversy which landed Waldman on a much-viewed Oprah episode during which a hostile audience nearly attacked her. Cliche as it may sound: You gotta put yourself first. You must make it a top priority to hang out with other adults — girlfriends, dates, relatives and friends. Yes, that essay is a decade old, but it warrants a revisit because parents — mothers most especially — are still expected to make our children the center of our worlds, and I do love [my daughter]. It is not normal to spend all your time with children, nor make your offspring your primary emotional support. As longevity increases, some mature couples realize they're dissatisfied with their marriage and no longer want to remain tied down for many more years.Young divorcing couples usually expect their small children suffer as a result of the marital break-down, but older couples don't usually anticipate the emotional trauma their grown children face.Ultimately, failure to put their partner first was a sign these guys were not ready for a serious relationship, or at least not with those particular women, and that is totally normal.
But in this moment when men are struggling to claim their place as equal parents while society expects divorced dads to be the lackadaisical weekend father, I get why you are compelled to go overboard with your expressed devotion. If you are indeed ready for a real love, create a space for her.
In fact, that is the big takeaway: Stop feeling guilty.
Divorce among seniors is becoming increasingly common.
Because in those families, there is all the more love to go around.
A couple years ago, a guy I went out with read my blog before we went out, and mulled my opinions on putting your kids behind your romantic partner.